I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
