Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
