i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
third nipple confirmed
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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