in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
