So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
