she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
