Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
