remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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