Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
