Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
