I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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