im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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