trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize