I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
