Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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