I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
