sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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