I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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