Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
