a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
