Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Quick, to the slutcave!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
