8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
