Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
