I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
