Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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