called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
