He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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