hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
