dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
