my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
