Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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