My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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