I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
