out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
