im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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