We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
