omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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