Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
