I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
