You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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