my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
