I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
