I'm going to jail i love you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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