i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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