I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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