This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
