# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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