she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
