I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
