This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
