We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
