who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
