So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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