his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
