TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
dude. I can hear the air.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
