sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
