Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
