I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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