p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
