seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
