possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize