I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize