Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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