So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
