Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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