Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
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