i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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