I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
